How To Use Your Mac To Get Laid
Ever been close? I mean REAL close, only to hear those bitter sweet words “Ok, I will see you tomorrow.” If this is you, and you own a Mac, you have had the wammy card in your back pocket and didn’t even know it.
There has actually been a little study on the topic. I sold my iMac to a friend who had never owned a Mac before. I was the only person he had known with a Mac. The nice guy that I am, I drove to his home to help him set it up in his computer room, not knowing that I was dropping off something that would change his life, in more ways than just user friendly browsing.
About a week into his Mac experience, he started calling me saying how he liked the computer, and for some reason, girls seemed to like his computer also. He also stressed that he had never experienced a reaction like that with his old stinky HP computer. Whatever though right?
Being me, I had to look into the situation way deeper than I probably needed to, and now that I have a blog running, I can share it with you.
Before I start, the author (me) assumes that you at least at a minimum have been getting “friends” to your home. Additionally, this may not work if your date has a Mac already. Your Mac would have to be better. Like if your date has a white Mac book, you have the Black one, and so on. This should also work with any Mac, however, the iMac being the most unique and elegant Mac, will render maximum results.
Guys
I know you have heard it before, and you will hear it here again: Chicks dig Macs. Macs are simply sexy. No one has argued that fact.
Here’s what you need to do:
The location of your Mac in your home is key. My friend happened to have his computer room directly in front of his bedroom. No better place than close to your room. Anywhere throughout the main rooms with easy view of the Mac is also bad, as your date will immediately want to see and play with the Mac as soon as she comes in. This is too early because you need time to “set the mood”.
When your date comes over, keep her in the main room of your home, with no view of your Mac. It won’t hurt to mention the Mac prior to arrival to your home. Do what you normally do when you bring dates home. Watch a little TV, talk and drink a little. Play it smooth.
When things start winding down, this is when you bring up your Mac. “I am about to check a few emails, do you want to see my Mac?” Would do fine. ***NOTE*** Make sure all your porn mail STUFF is DELETED. Also clear you’re desktop of all the recent porn downloads. When your date sees your Mac, instantly, she will be drawn to it. If you have the iMac with iSight, your job is easy, take a few pictures with iPhoto! It will make her laugh plus it will give you an opportunity to get close. It would help if you smelled good. :| This is where you have to earn your money. Open up your iTunes and turn on a preset play list of your BEST slow jams. Say as little as possible at this point as you could only mess it up. Then BAM Seize the day!
Too easy right?
Ladies
While it would take a natural catastrophe for you NOT to get laid, and even then…. a Mac could at least help you optimize (lol) the experience.
Guys dig chicks with Macs. Simple as that. Have a Mac Laptop? Perfect. When you are ready to optimize your experience, put on that piece you like, you know the one, and simply chill out on your bed and start typing!
For reference use this link.
The next time your friend asks you for the 50th time, “Why do I need to go Mac?” You know what to say.
Report back with your findings, and be Brave!
Posted in Apple, How To, Just Blogging
You have reached the personal blog of Howard O'Berry. I enjoy blogging about tech and current events, but being that this blog is personal, pretty much anything goes. You can catch me on 
tad July 30th, 2007 at 4:05 pm
You forgot the part about playing the Barry White…